This Ticket limits our liability. Read It.

 By reading the enclosed, Reader (hereby referred to as Reader) agrees to imdemnify Batman (hereby referred to as Writer) from the following:

 Resolved: that these are not movie reviews, and therefore Writer reserves all rights to spoil every plot turn, line of dialog, and gratuitous Matthew McConaughey casting that he sees fit, not only with the movie in question, but with any movie he has seen, heard about it, or simply made up, even if Reader really, really was going to see that one, but couldn't figure out how the Netflix queue works.

 Resolved: that these are not reviews, Reader will not hold Writer responsible if Writer does not convey if a movie is Good (hereby defined as Good) or Bad (hereby also defined as Good). This is largely because Writer isn't sure either.

Don’t you love (and read) lists?  There they are, just to be wrong and get all worked up about.  If we see movies to get anxious and get relieved (it’s like massage, only dirty), we buy newspapers and read blogs so we can get angry and foam about how wrong they are (as opposed to say, the occasional reporting of an actual event.  Sorry, including the occasional reporting of an actual event), only to feel relieved at the end at our righteousosity.  When they contradict us, facts are dangerous enough, but opinions, well…those are serious.  

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